Wild side - day 2

Thought of the day - Remixing is not coping ...and nothing is completely original - And tonight I started my walk on the wild side!



I'm really sorry for the terrible blog.. I am super tired and...  - but couldn't allow myself not to do one. Tomorrows will be better ( promise) well I hope anyway.




                                                                                 Jade

Balance

My dad has always told me that everything in life is all about BALANCE. And the more I think about it, the more I think he is right.

We all need time to rest and prepare for what the next day is going to bring. We all need an element of fun and an element of surprise. We all want the good stuff all the time, because otherwise we complain we are bored! But surely we need some of the rubbish stuff to make us really appreciate the good stuff when it happens!?

That's just my thought of the day! -  Considering how much balance we require!

                                                                          Jade

wild side

I need to take a walk on the wild side...

before its too late, and I'm 'old'... but what if I'm scared? What if I'm not meant to try new things, that are considered bad?! I've always thought that it was others perceptions of me, that didn't allow me to make the wrong decisions and that I always had to be 'miss perfect'. But maybe its just me - too up to tight to do anything I shouldn't! 

But what if its not me!? What if I don't enjoy getting drunk! To be a mess! In the sense where I can't control it! Having no control is scary. What will happen???. You can no longer look after ones self - and to rely on another is too much to ask really.

Like a good wise friend told me the other day. Friends aren't meant to DO anything... its only what we've decided they should do and how they should behave. Like most things in life, we have decided collectively what is right and wrong. Society tells us, what we can get away with and what we cannot. These rules we have in forced put a lot of pressure on us as individuals, which can be too much sometimes.

But on the positive side, I'm making plans, by taking baby steps on the wild side! Hopefully it will work out! And I'll experience something new...

                                                                         Jade

Affection

The feeling of being trapped and suffocated, is a fear I've always had! In the physical sense as well as emotionally. I guess that's why I'm not big on the whole hug thing. Or affection for that matter. It takes a lot for me to think about hugging someone. I guess that makes me selfish in that sense,but why do I feel like this?

do hugs make us vulnerable? 

Growing up, I was pretty independent, and confident and didn't feel the need for constant reassurance, but recently I fear that is all I'm seeking. The approval that I've done good in something. That I've made them proud for just a second. I dread disappointing and put pressure on myself to achieve and do the best I know I can do! But what if I'm not meant to to do well?Why can't I deal with pressure. I find my mind shutting off and I can do nothing but think. And sometimes that's even too much...

How can I create something beautiful, if I can't think or feel beautifully? (Or does that matter? )
All I know is, I want what I  ever I produce, to be positive in some way -So  I've got the intention, but relying on others to help , is a pretty big ask, I just find myself unable to portray my message, without their assistance! Ah man, fingers crossed that this week some magic is made in some way or another! I have no idea what will happen, but maybe that is magic in itself...?!

                                                                                      Jade

hand writing

my 'new' hand writing

How much does hand writing say about a person? Does it define what sort of person you are?

Hand writing is something that cannot be taught. You can be shown the basics, but ultimately it is down to the individual to decide how they present their words. I myself never really thought about my writing. As long as I could read it, it was fine.
At school, my writing improved over the years like most people, I guess. And I always thought of it as neat an pretty nice. It wasn't until I asked a friend whether she liked it, and she responded that it looked like a school girls writing that I began to doubt my opinion. - This then made me think about the way I write and different peoples opinions....

However, recently ( ever since I started this new blog actually) my writing has changed! It has become a lot smaller and scribberly I guess. When I noticed this I presented a page of notes to the same friend that I had consulted previously... and she loved it! That much she asked me to write her something - so she could feel it! ( But I won't go into that, now)

And another peer, told me that she could imagine a whole life time story that went with it! Something along the  lines of:  A lodge in the countryside, with an old table and a fire... it goes on a little bit more, but I can't remember it.

My point is, I find it so amazing, how people can get so much from someone's hand writing. A whole story in fact!

Before I started to think about this topic more deeply, I just thought that it was good to have neat hand writing, but you were considered either lazy or intelligent ( Doctor ) or an Artist, if it was unreadable.

And how no two peoples are the same.., right?


                                                                         Jade

following on...

starting point 

these are just my words...

Following on from my last blog... I was inspired by a photograph of Kylie Minogue from the magazine Stylist. Now it wasn't so much the person, it was what it represented to me! What does the photo say? The pose, body language etc.

I therefore photocopied the image in black and white and began to scribble words onto various areas as seen >
I then wrote about what I thought the image represented and how I could use it as inspiration for my latest little project.

This week coming up.. I am planning on letting my peers loose with some paints. Not to go crazy but to hopefully create something like this.

I want to photography people, like with the post about hands, - I'm thinking of broadening it!

There are so much you can say with a strong image, and words. So I must now spend the weekend re watching all the interviews, sifting through all the dialogue and picking the words that reflect my project and the people best.

Wish me luck,

Jade

just words

Its said that people can relate to words. More so words that come from the heart. And words that actually REALLY mean something to the person writing them. Today I have been getting creative, with my old art peer.

We have been experimenting with ideas, and researching artists too! We tried some ideas below. Who knows they could be a good starting point with displaying my message.

more words required!!!

hands are still looking sparse

lets make a difference together


Jade 

think think think

maybe? but what is the message?

I wasn't too sure about what to blog today. I normally write about things that have been playing on my mind or inspired me! But today I guess what has been bothering me the most is how can I 'Make the better place'??? They say the best place to start is by changing something about one's self.  But I'm not sure how that is going to work. ..And how can I display this message effectively in a piece of performance?

I've spend hours researching, thinking and worrying. Trying to find inspiration.

I guess I've thought of using different elements. Personal words, maybe?! People are able to relate to them, right? But who really cares what I think? - But is that a good point?

inspirational quote

I'm also thinking of using black and white photographs. Images that I have taken. Conveying the message of: Seeing the world in black and white.  - But then what should the photos be of?

I want my whittle chair to be in there somewhere too, and I've been thinking of a piece of art that the audience  can add to and create on the day. Maybe with messages or opinions...
Ahhh... too many ideas that aren't solid enough! So annoying!!!

OK, I think a huge photo session is required! Let's hope this leads somewhere!


                                                                             Jade

Flying High

Gravity keeps us down in the physical sense. 'What goes up must come down'.
And that is very similar to our moods, right?!
Never up for too long, before something makes us worry or stress, and we are back to the 'normal' state of mind.

As people we are always brought back down. 'Back down to earth'.
We are not 'allowed' to fly high, for too long!

We must stay grounded, but who decides this? And does that therefore mean miserable?
And  not happy!?

Do you think if we conquered content-fullness or even happiness, we would fly?

Have the animals and creatures that are able, cracked it?

- Just a thought.

                                                                            Jade

Mastering

Every day people are affected by every day stresses and anxieties, but mastering how to cope and deal with the small and larger issues, can be a whole new problem.

I myself suffer with anxiety on a daily basis, like many of the population, I guess. But it is only recently that I am learning to function better.

I discovered the other day that we develop habits that we repeat. And that it takes 21 days to kick the habit. I find myself sometimes worrying for no reason, other than I might be pattern matching back ( remembering the last time I was in that situation ) and applying the emotion I associate with that occasion.

Now I'm not saying that I have mastered anxiety, but finally I am beginning to separate the things that are worth worrying about and the things that are not.

Plus writing these blogs helps me too!


                                                                              Jade

Change and Endings

If only one could see it as the start of something new and exciting, then the process would be far less intimidating.

Its only because it is the unknown, that it scares us. For we fear what is come will be worse then what you have at present. Whether that be a job, a home, or a person. At a certain point before the 'deadline' it suddenly hits, that violent drop in the pit of your stomach. When dread and fear hit home.

All that is good flashes before your eyes, and you realise things are about to take a new direction. Regardless if you are ready and willing or not.

We build attachments to things, places and people, to create stability and somewhere safe. We want to feel loved and cared for, so when one is aware that they are at risk to lose one or all of those things that they hold dear to your heart, it is only natural , surely to have some reservations.

Why then if we realise it is natural to feel like this do we fight it and fight change, when regardless it will happen?

Is it healthy to build barriers to protect yourself? So you no longer feel vulnerable to these happenings.
And why can some deal with change better than others? Is it anything to do with  childhood and the way we were brought up? Is it anything to do with the amount of change that occurred throughout one's life? And what is the preference, surely if one has a lot, would you learn to accept it as part of life, and get used to it? But then if you never experienced it, and then some massive change occurred, how is one meant to deal with something that has never really happened before. Obviously there are many alternatives to these scenarios, but these two contrasting points are the ones that have got me thinking...

So why can we not then adjust, accept and embrace change? Surely it would be the healthiest thing to do! Though there has always been something about change, for what ever reason, I strongly dislike.

Mind you, on the other hand, there are many things about the world that I would love to see change. I guess what I must learn is: Things will change no matter what. For things to improve, things must change. So how can it be unnatural or negative when potentially greatness can come from it?

                                                                                          Jade

I'll be a green dot through preference please.

My last blog inspired me to do a little sketching... may not be what you would call a master piece, but...

If I were a dot...I'd quite like to be green I think! 

Understanding Perception

My last topic got me thinking, along with a piece by Robert Krulwich: Two Deaths and a beetle, talking about the poet: Janek Skarzynski, discussing how she viewed the world.  It then inspired me to pose these questions and thoughts:

We present different versions of ourselves to the world. But we leave it down to the people of the world to decide how to view and ultimately understand the presentation. And is that fair? All that pressure to Understand!!!

Life and experiences alter our perception along with how we view the world, and how we act. Just like everyone else. Deep down we are more similar than what meets the eye.

Everyday we are 'Performing' to an 'Audience', the people to whom we interact with. We choose how to present ourselves. But can we choose how we think and feel, by simply choosing too?!

You cannot make someone see things the same way as you do! Nor do we have the right to ask them too!

We dislike change, but that is what we are constantly strive for. Isn't it?

We leave questions for others to answer, because sometimes, alone we cannot, or choose not to answer them. Just like I do.

And how can we understand another, if we cannot understand ourselves? Or even expect others to understand us!

Life is full of unanswered questions. But should they really be, or need to be answered?
As children we constantly ask our parents 'Why?' 'But, why?'. As humans, we are never satisfied with 'because...it just is'. We want answers and constant reassurance that we 'think the right way'.
But sometimes there are NO answers. And if everything in life was answered would there really be any point to anything any more? - Life is for discovering, is it not?

People and the World, really do inspire me. I really am a small dot on a page...

Jade

                                                                         

Just Jade

In the early hours of this morning, whilst trying to sleep, my mind wondered to something that I thought was worth jotting down for future purposes, and possibly worthy of blogging. So I reached for my notepad, that now lives permanently on my bed, my blue pen, and a very dim torch and wrote the following:

I address myself as 'Just Jade', to remove all labels that have been attached to me over the years. Be that 'small' for example or 'derrick'.
But the silly thing is, I am creating a new label for myself by doing so! And therefore creating a new issue that no one but me actually cares about.

Labels are just part of what makes us human right? We all have labels to distinguish who is who! We all want to be seen and accepted as ourselves, because we all strive to be different, don't we? We all want there to be change in the world, because we are so scared that we will become bored if things don't move on.

I consider myself a questioner and a thinker - and yet again new labels!!!

My point is, I want to be accepted and seen for just being me. But what if I don't even know who that is yet? Can I then expect others to work it out for themselves?


                                                                                  Jade

Social Experiment

So today I am carrying out a little experiment and hopefully a semi successful one!

On Twitter an Facebook I will pose the question ' What do you care most about?'
My intention is to see how far I can reach out to people.

I'm hoping by the end of the day ( or..whenever.) to have a collection of thoughts, views etc. expressed in what ever way they feel reflects themselves. Whether that is through words or photos, or even a video log,  or be even more original than me if you want to! It doesn't have to be mind boggling. Or even take you more than five minutes. To be honest you would be doing me a favour by undergoing this 'task'. If you want to be credited please attach your name. I'm hoping that this can end up being part of my final piece at Uni, with your permission of course!

To be part of this, simply tweet me your answers on 'justjade_roo' or e-mail me on jadederrick-@hotmail.co.uk

I am extremely excited about the possibilities this could create, and more importantly what the people of Social Networking sites can come up with!

Come on Guys ( and Girls) inspire me!



                                                                                Jade

To Blog?

It appears that I've been blogging for a few days in a row now, so i figured why not keep it up! But I've been thinking, I enjoy writing my blogs, but I feel that I must be inspired, it can not be forced. There are just times that I 'feel' like writing one. So surely forcing it when I'm not feeling it will not work. I'm scared that they will therefore become boring to read. Much like this one...because what am I trying to say? That I can't write until someone else has inspired me, and do I always require someone to inspire me, for me to ultimately do anything?

Is this just a pointless blog? Or am I making a point, from not a point. Can something be made from nothing? Can a   small idea therefore spiral off into a new found idea, that could possibly move onto something else, and therefore actually become interesting???

I think I have bored you enough, well that is if you have got this far....

I also wanted to add that since I started my new blog there have been a lot of '...' and a lot of questions. But is it too much  to ask for an audience to question what I'm questioning? Should anyone just except what they're told. Sorry this is leading off on a huge tangent. But maybe I'm questioning and my original question by doing this.... Anyway I will leave it here for today I think.




                                                                        Jade

Human Perception.

I find it interesting that one views the world differently when they are for example intoxicated with alcohol and when they are not! And therefore their perceptions of people and the world, and their actions differ too! I watched countless people acting extremely out of character - People seem to lose all inhibitions, and act differently to normal and to what is considered 'allowed' in today's society....My mind wondered to to this last night. As I unintentionally carried out a social experiment.

During this time, I did my best to remain focused on having a good time, and to enjoy the evening. But at times I found it difficult because I was drawn to particular things, like the Lighting for example, and the way it makes you feel.. People create things to alter your perception, so you react differently! In this case, they want to heighten you experience and create some form of illusion.

To further my topic, I also took into consideration, the appearance of others, and who people dress for!
Whilst getting ready, my friend and I struggled to find something to wear. More so me at the start but once I was dressed, I was pretty contented. Even though I felt slightly different, I was wearing more make-up than normal and an outfit that wasn't my usual attire. But I still felt like ME in a very different way. I felt confident, something I rarely feel and ready to take on the world...what ever that means?!!?

I suppose my real question is, Why do we act differently in different situations and think its acceptable to react   differently when drink is in the equation?! My main experience of drinking is to either Celebrate or the complete opposite Drown your sorrows... why can't we find that balance? In every sense of the word....


                                                                                        Jade

inspiration from a chipmunk

"Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words."  Mevlana Rumi 

What does Care mean?

From Google images I got:

Its all about the HANDS!!!!!

Being united as one.

Comfort

Teddy bears

HUGS

Nursing

Animals

Children

Family

Education

Laughter

Illness

Charts

Guidance

Love

So is this how the world views CARE and/or 'to care for' ?

The pictures below are how I view 'Care' within people

and this is me showing Care for a Spider.

Jade

SOTA2012

Today I posted my comment on the SOTA2012 live blog, and here's what I wrote:

'The Arts are a vital part of our culture. A place you are allowed to be lost and be found. If you are lacking inspiration it is a great starting point to become inspired, grow and better yourself. It is a place to learn, excite and make your contribution to making the world a better place.

The Arts can be exposing, in both positive and negative ways. However, with its forgiving nature, it enables people to find direction, along with finding passion and determination.  It is a place to make mistakes and learn from them, in a non-judgemental environment.

Creating Art ought to be a natural process that shouldn’t be rushed or faked. Within Art you are able to take what is considered ‘ugly’ in society and make it ‘beautiful’, and therefore possibly leaving questions to be answered.

The least important and least impressive thing about the Arts is the money that it accumulates.

We must care for and preserve the Arts, for the future will not be the same without it!
That or we should start a revolution…' 

                                                                                     Jade

when the tele speaks

Now today's topic isn't exactly the most uplifting, but it was something that caught my attention today.

I was sitting watching television, now over the last couple of weeks I have lost interest in tele, so for a soap to catch my attention was quite something. Now during this episode, a daughter had to decide whether to turn her mother's life support machine off, as she has no chance of recovery. A hard decision, that I'm not sure I would be able to make....But this isn't really my point.


My point is, what really matters in the end? How does someone remember another?  Has everything that person done in their existence been wiped, because ultimately does it really matter in the end? When all is said and done!
Do you finally admit to yourself how much you care for that human, and do you view that person the same anymore?  Do you see their looks, or their mistakes, or do you see the happiness they gave you?!

Even when someone passes we are thinking and answering questions. If all they have done in their life, no longer matters when their gone. Surely then it shouldn't matter when they are alive! It makes me realise how much we should care for people and that we should make sure they no how much we do! ( I am becoming soppy but..) I just want people to be aware!


I guess today has also taught and shown me, that you can find inspiration in anything and everything. Sometimes you've just got to stop searching and trying so hard... Yes Jade start listening.

particular scenes were my inspiration:
http://www.channel5.com/shows/home-and-away



                                                                                    Jade

Emotional Intelligence

About two years ago, I was told that I was emotionally intelligent, but if someone asked me to define emotional intelligence, it would take me a while to come up with an answer. So do I really have emotional intelligence or not, seeing as I don't really know what it is?!
I guess that you might just have it! But if there are books on the subject, does that mean, I don't really understand? Considering I pick up a/the book, flick through the pages, then go back to the contents, make Jade face 34 ( okay so for the people who wouldn't have a clue what 'Jade face 34', looks like, I mean a VERY confused face) and then tell myself, 'Jade you really haven't got a clue'.  - I would attach a photo, but it would properly make you sick!

according to wikipedia;
'Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups'. - Put simply...

But surely no one can tell you how you feel?! Only you know, so surely everyone has 'it' , emotional intelligence that is.

The only reason this bothers me, is because I've never been considered ' intelligent' so getting that label was quite exciting to say to the least. But I am learning to not let labels get to me! Why should I let others influence me. The power of words, can alter how someone reacts to everything, and the whole control thing, gets to me just a little.

So whether I have that two worded label or not, it doesn't really matter in the great scale of things.



                                                                                 Jade

Identity swap

So accidently i've created a litttle experiment. That has made me question the topic of identities, and how similar we are, yet how different. By wearing a jumper, can you become someone else?

person a or b?

can you tell them apart?

Do we really want our own identities? To be someone completely unique from everyone else! Or are we happy to repeat history and become like soldiers following orders, without thinking if that is what we want? Where, or is there a line between the two? Is there a middle ground with this topic? Is it alright to accept and copy things? Or should we try to create something altogether new? - Which is something I would say is pretty impossible...

I myself openly admit, that I don't enjoy the idea of someone coping me. I do tend to freak out or sulk, when someone is wearing the same top as me! Childish, yes! But why does it bother me so much?


However ( major contridiction coming up) at times, I like to be compared to others , and have similarities, as it makes me feel like I fit in. But isn't it human nature to copy?! There are only so many looks, ideas etc. that people can create. So maybe it is 'good' to copy, repeat, alter, change...then eventually it will become something different altogether...surely?

These are all questions, that I guess may not be able to be answered with a 'Yes or No'.

Above there are four images of two people, and two  jumpers. With one similarity - the hair! OH and the Surname. Being Sisters, usually comes with the bonus of having features that are the same. But surely it is annoying when one is always being compared to another. Never being 'allowed' to be themselves. But this is something that I guess we all must deal with.

Going back to my first statement/ question; Do we really want our own identities?
 - I'd say.;Yes but only to a certain degree. Us humans, like to feel that we have each others backs, so we will go along with things to keep the peace. Some are eccentric as its a way to express themselves, all we ultimately want is to fit in. But what is fit in? I guess its finding our place in the world. And through freedom of expression, how we dress... is a way to find that 'place'.



                                                                           Jade

illuminate the way

So it appears I can no longer takes photos...

I was lacking inspiration - and I still am!
Anyway when this happens, i like to take my camera out and snap. Though what was captured wasn't exactly what I intended. After tones of time spend out in the cold and snow, I took dozens of standard photos, that I could happily sit and delete one after the other. However, maybe I was trying too hard to take a picture of the 'wrong' things.

On the way back home in the car ( I was a passenger of course -  and a great rarity ) The flash was going mental, and eventually I managed to capture whilst moving at the speed of light - the two images below. Not that I would normally think they were even good enough to show..but I'm trying to learn to be less of a control freak and become less of a perfectionist.
I figure if I allow myself to produce 'rubbish' I will start to create something 'good' eventually! Something that I will be happy with. Maybe?!

Fingers crossed anyway!

every colour illuminates

we are..blurring!

                                                                            


                                                                              Jade