wild side

I need to take a walk on the wild side...

before its too late, and I'm 'old'... but what if I'm scared? What if I'm not meant to try new things, that are considered bad?! I've always thought that it was others perceptions of me, that didn't allow me to make the wrong decisions and that I always had to be 'miss perfect'. But maybe its just me - too up to tight to do anything I shouldn't! 

But what if its not me!? What if I don't enjoy getting drunk! To be a mess! In the sense where I can't control it! Having no control is scary. What will happen???. You can no longer look after ones self - and to rely on another is too much to ask really.

Like a good wise friend told me the other day. Friends aren't meant to DO anything... its only what we've decided they should do and how they should behave. Like most things in life, we have decided collectively what is right and wrong. Society tells us, what we can get away with and what we cannot. These rules we have in forced put a lot of pressure on us as individuals, which can be too much sometimes.

But on the positive side, I'm making plans, by taking baby steps on the wild side! Hopefully it will work out! And I'll experience something new...

                                                                         Jade